Use Gifts & Games to Keep Things New & ExcitingĮveryone loves receiving gifts. Many of my aftercare tips work virtually, or the Dom can instruct the sub to perform each task. It’s also important to schedule in aftercare for the submissive to prevent “sub drop”. A certain BDSM topic to research each day.“Little Space” activities like coloring or watching cartoons.An assigned list keeps the Dominant in control of their partner, even when issues come up and they can’t be there physically.Ī schedule also keeps the sub focused, because they don’t have to get overwhelmed with making choices or dealing with other problems. Having set tasks to do everyday is the perfect way to make a submissive not feel so lonely in a long-distance BDSM relationship. Complete the free worksheet- It’s an easy way to see where you both stand.Make a contract together- A BDSM contract helps both a Dom and a sub to clearly know what their roles are in the relationship, and what’s expected of them.Have real-life interactions- Show your commitment by making and keeping plans to meet face-to-face.Be patient- Even if you were physically together before things became long-distance, the new situation will take time for both of you to become comfortable.Here are some other tips to prevent problems and issues from arising: Be honest with your partner about what you want out of the relationship, but more importantly, be honest with yourself.ĭo you really want to be in a long-distance BDSM relationship when you could be meeting other people? If the answer is ‘yes’, then stop playing games, and work on building trust together. Some people get stuck in a BDSM long-distance relationship because they feel obligated to stay for one reason or another. Overcome Commitment Issues as a Dominant or submissive A sub should have a journal they can write freely in, and the Dom should have access to it at all times.Ģ. Use an online journal- This is a must whether you’re long-distance or not.Watch a BDSM movie together ( “Secretary” is my favorite)- You can each set it up on your own TV or iPad and press play at the same time.Just prop up your phone or iPad in the room, and have the Dominant give the submissive instructions. You could have a meal together, have phone sex, play games, or even have a virtual play session. Use FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom – There are so many possibilities with this one.Get creative and think outside the box, and soon you’ll begin to feel much closer. Don’t neglect all the other kinky ways you can enjoy technology. Texting especially can be easy and convenient, but after a while, you may find it gets boring. Technology can be a lifesaver in a long-distance BDSM relationship. Avoid Long-Distance Relationship Problems Caused by Technology So here are some ideas for rules to keep in mind, and a free worksheet to download. Both the Dominant and submissive have to work at it, though. But even if you’re apart for just a day, or if circumstances make it so you’re separated for months, a long-distance Dom/sub relationship can still succeed. There’s also a lot of bad advice and tips on the internet. It can be difficult to keep the dynamic going when you’re apart, and problems and issues arise. BDSM long-distance relationships are hard, especially for those that are Dom/sub.
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